Q: Did you grow it for Movember and just decided to keep it?
A: I got so many compliments I just had to.
Q: Is that a caterpillar on your lip?
A: Yes, and he has feelings too!
A: Do you use it as a soup strainer?
Q: I’m not 6 years old. Everything I eat goes directly into my mouth.
Q: Can you smell it?
A: Only after I eat soup.
Q: Why don’t you grow a CRAZY moustache?
A: That’s a great idea. They should call you Steve Jobs.
Q: So tell me what a moustache ride is?
A: Why don’t I show you.
Q: Do you stroke it like an evil villain?
A: Just when I think about taking over the world.
Q: Do you have a top hat collection?
A: Yes, it’s with my stamp collection
Q: Are you trying to hide the herpes?
A: Please don’t tell anyone.
Q: Didn’t I see you in that 70’s porno?
A: Do you recognise the woody?
Q: Are you best friends with Merv Hughes?
A: I supplied the 52 cans of beer on the England flight.
Q: Where’s the rest of your beard?
A: My moustache said I wasn’t allowed to grow one.
Q: Can you please get away from my child?
A: Lady, I’m no where near you and your child. It’s the moustache isn’t it? [Backs away slowly].
Q: Is this a new hipster thing?
A: I want to slap you right now.
Q: I moustache you a question….
A: Please don’t do that.
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Author: John Porreca
Editor: Ben De Campo