Author: Kareem Ghaly
Things Only People with Beards Would Understand
When you grow a beard you see the world through different eyes. People treat you with respect, your knowledge of obscure information increases as you become more wiser and more well rounded and you always have someone there that will be with you no matter what.
Regardless of what part of the earth you chose to live if you are a man with a beard then you are unified as one and know that there are certain things that only you guys will understand. This is the definitive guide to some of the struggles and positives of being a beardsman that only people with beards will understand
Shannon had a flavour savour, if you have a beard then you essentially have a pantry attached to your face that can only be emptied with the use of a comb and a mirror. Any self respecting bearded man can tell you there has been moments where they have noticed bits of food in their beard but can’t remember when the food was consumed, because “i thought i had banana bread last tuesday?”
If you have a beard then you know that regardless of occasion a good beard stroke is always in order. For example: When you are deep thought, we stroke our beard for wisdom and answers. When we are ordering at the butcher trying t decide how much bacon to buy a stroke is in order, “yeh mate yeh know what? I’ll take the full kilo thanks”. When are in your car and someone cuts you off you take a deep breath and have a stroke to prevent you from ramming your car into the other persons. There is always time for a stroke.
There is an unspoken bond that unifies all beardsman where no words are spoken but a simple nod is given to show you approval of the beardsman efforts.
As a beardsman most men aspire for a bigger and greater beard. There is a mix of admiration and jealousy that sets in when you see a bearded brother who has more beard glory than you do, there is a mixed emotions and thoughts of “i need to shave this off because I will never be as good as this guy”, and then you think to yourself, no i love my beard despite its flaws.
Your first proper beard
You always remember your first. It is the moment after a couple of people have given you the nod but you didn’t fully understand what the nod means yet, people of both sexes comment on it everytime you go out. It is the moment where you realise “I have arrived”
The "Hipster" remark
There is a special rung of hell reserved for people that call a bearded man a hipster. Even if someone meets your definition of a hipster refrain from saying it. It might be one of the most irritating questions anyone can ask and we are sick if hearing it.
A beard can change a face, and a face change means that women that may not have considered you as “suiter” in the past are definitely noticing you now. Also as women don’t have beards you will definitely notice a lot more facial touching. The beard stroke is not just for the beard holder but a gift that you can offer women and non-bearded men to touch.
I have definitely noticed that since growing a beard dogs and cats of the world seem to be at peace in your presence. Similar to the nod you will notice animals giving their seal of approval by showing you a great deal of affection as if to say “you are one of us buddy, we can trust you.”
A negative of the beard game is that some people may not trust you when walking through airport security. A positive spin on it might be that they are so impressed with your beard that they want to stop you just to spend a little more time to get to know the awesome person behind the facial hair, as a lot of people working airport security are beard less.
Having a beard gives you presence when you are waiting in line for a beer. Your beard acts a vector point and means that the bartender will rarely ignore you even if there are pretty women standing around you. Your love and care of your big beard will be recognised by the man or woman behind the bar and therefore you’ll be served a lot faster than any other patrons.
One thing that all beardsmen definitely share is the passion for beard care products. You will definitely notice a rise in beard oils, balms, combs, brushes, potions and lotions in your bathroom. After all if you are going to grow a beard then, it is your duty and as the grower to keep your beard looking as fresh as possible.
The beard unlike head hair has many more different coloured strands. This multicultural hair colony you've got going will soon turn to grey and in my opinion i quite welcome the thought. I am a strong advocate of the silver fox look and can't wait till my few grey hairs multiply.
It is always a sad sight seeing beard hair in your fingers when you stroke your beard. Every beards man enters a level of paranoia and has thoughts of “is this the beginning of the end?” but don't worry fellas so long as you aren't ripping chunks out your beard isn’t going anywhere just, just remember to keep it trimmed, and well groomed and your facial companion will be safe.
If you have any other thoughts on what the beardman goes through we would love to hear them. Drop us a comment of some of the things you go through with your beard.
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Author: Kareem Ghaly
Editor: Ben De Campo