How to Impress a Girl

milkman girl getting impressed by your grooming
Some dudes are Casanovas others are pretty terrible when it comes to talking and acting around the opposite sex. If you err on the side of terrible you may have found yourself searching around the internet for tips that can give you a better pick-up game.

Unfortunately for you, there isn't anything ground breaking we can add to this advice so instead we decided to take a humorous look at some of the more common dating tips. Here's what we came up with.


Whether you are meeting for the first time or going on a date with someone you met the week before, pre-date bathing is super important. If you are meeting someone after work instead of on the weekend and you don't have time to go home, make sure you have showered that morning and for Pete's sake put some deodorant or cologne on right before meeting them.

No man can avoid the gradual build up of sweat & body odour that occurs during a work day. Once you've started dating for a while you can then relax your bathing policy to once a day and just add an extra shower in when you're hoping to get laid.

Dress well

In nature, female birds are more attracted to males who exhibit feathers that are brighter and better groomed. In our society, women tend to be more attracted to males who show confidence & power. Being easy on the eye will also help a lot.
The good news is that the right clothing & style can give you a real boost. If you've got a good body, don't be afraid to show it off with well-tailored clothing. If you don't, then hide your gut & try to focus more on the confidence & power side of things. Wear clothes that compliment your style and make you feel good. Don't wear creepy stuff like wife beaters, Ugg boots or tracksuits from K Mart. 

Pay compliments

It never hurts to pay a girl a compliment so long as it's sincere. If you are going to compliment a girl don’t just do the standard “I like your hair” or "nice dress" unless you mean it. Pick something about her that you genuinely like before you compliment. If you can't think of anything then genuinely make something up (ideally something that makes you look like a guy who thinks before he speaks).
Try to avoid complimenting a girl's erotic areas. These compliments have a low probability of success even if you phrase them politely. For example, “might I say your breasts are looking fine this evening” probably won't work, even though it's a step up from "nice cans". 

Ironically, once you get to know a girl and start dating, cheeky compliments like this can work wonders. It's like saying "I'm still turned on by you" in a playful way that is actually authentic to the way a lot of guys think.


Listening is something a lot of dudes don’t do for prolonged periods. If you're anything like me then you may have even struggled to listen to yourself sometimes. This can be exacerbated in social situations, where the urge to impress someone results in your talking too much without giving the other person a chance to speak.

If this sounds like you, we've got bad news. Not only are you missing potentially important information, but it's also likely that the other person has picked up on what you've done as a sign that you aren't interested in them, rather than it just being a result of your "monkey brain" having a low attention span.

This can have utterly disastrous consequences if you happen to be on a date with a smoking hot girl. First dates and early encounters are a perfect time to get to know one another and listening is the only way you’ll find out who that person really is beyond any physical attraction. If your mind strays when she tells you stories that reveal her to be superficial, disloyal, money grubbing or bitchy then you're left with just what your Johnson says and he isn't that fussy or concerned with your long term mental health.

Wear a cologne

This falls under the first point, but is important enough to be a point on its own. Smell is a very important sense when determining compatibility, so smelling great may mean the difference between “see you soon” or “goodbye forever”. Remember less is more when it comes to cologne and too much can be just as bad as none at all.  If you're not into cologne, a good quality beard oil or after shave splash can do the job.

Use humour

Making someone laugh is a great way to break the ice and allow them to feel more comfortable in your presence whilst boosting your confidence at the same time. If you're not naturally a funny guy, bringing up a funny TV show or movie that you have seen recently allows you to reflect on that rather than generate your own material. If you can't even get this right then forget about it, it's worse to try and be funny and fail than to not try at all.

If you can get the laughs congratulations, you've achieved something that a lot of men aspire to. Biologically speaking they say that men like to make women laugh because it makes them look clever whilst also allowing them to subsconsciously assess how old the women is by looking at how her face changes when she smiles. 

Don’t lie

Short term lying on a first date to agree with something a girl has said may work in getting you laid, however if things go well and you keep seeing this person then the lie may come back to kick you in the ass. Having your own opinion doesn't mean you're being argumentative but shows that you are strong and feel comfortable speaking your mind. Just remember to be sensitive with it. 

Use a filter

Most first interactions usually involve some sort of alcohol. Liquid courage is good for overcoming any nerves and breaking the ice but liquid courage can turn into liquid stupid very quickly and you may say something that she finds offensive or gross. Keep check of what you are drinking and run what you say through a filter before you say it.

We've all seen those guys at the end of a night out, full of confidence-boosting alcohol without any filter whatsoever. For some reason lines like "fancy a shag" and "are you wearing knickers" usually end up in a back-handed put down & abrupt end to the interaction.

We hope this has been somewhat helpful and improves your game slightly. If you gave any other tips that might help you other blokes impress the ladies we would love to hear them.

Other articles that might interest you:

1.  Growing a Moustache? Do it Right.

2.  10 Beard Mistakes you Should Avoid

3.  Grooming Tips for Men

4.  Tips for Patchy Beards

5.  What is Beard Oil and Why use it?

6.  The Difference Between Beard Oil and Beard Balm



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