What Does Your Beard Say About You?

beard mosaic
Your beard is as unique and individual as you are – but you can also tell a lot about a guy by the style of beard he chooses to wear! 

We've done our research on various opinions given by a pogonologists, or a beard specialists (yes, there really is a special word for it, as there should be!) and come up with the general consensus about various beard styles at the moment.  So if you want to know what your beard says about you, then you've come to the right place.

Stubble – very popular amongst guys and girls, stubble belongs on a trendy guy. Studies linking beards with attractiveness have also found that a very short beard is amongst the most popular. But be warned though – to look great (and it looks great on most men), it requires some serious maintenance. That careless look doesn’t come so carelessly. A good beard trimmer isn't a huge investment and can save a lot of time.

Goatee – sorry guys, but we reckon most people would say that the goatee is so twenty years ago. It was a big statement style in the mid-1990’s (think Brad Pitt in Seven or Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski), and while it does work for a lot of guys, it has kind of been done to death. It will almost certainly come back into fashion, but in the meantime, you'll probably be pushing boundaries with this look - not that pushing boundaries would be a bad thing.

Full Beard – this style has all kinds of connotations. There’s the masculinity of a full beard, the fatherliness of it. It has religious connotations (Abraham, Moses, Jesus...). It reminds us of Santa Claus. In the past it was commonly seen on academics, scholarly men, lumberjacks and true bad asses. It was also the go-to look for hippies and mountain men.

When well groomed, is denotes a guy who is confident but not cocky. If, however, your full beard is long, wild, or even a bit feral, you want to be noticed for your beard. It’s your trophy, and it tells the world that you’re inclined to believe that rules are not for you - a true symbol of being your own man! The full beard is really popular at the moment and with a good beard care routine, it can turn your average bloke into a stunning piece of alpha man candy. If you want to see some amazing transformations that demonstrate how a full beard can turn your every day man into supermodel material check out the hashtag #BeforeAndAfterBeardSeason on Instagram and Twitter.

Chinstrap – this is a look which requires dedication, hard work, and just a touch of vanity. This guy wants to be noticed, wants his facial hair to be commented upon, and he wants a look that hasn’t yet been done by every other man on the street. If you don't like shaving then this look could be an absolute pain.

Sideburns – this is a guy who enjoys himself and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Hipsters, college students, and Elvis lovers unite! Sideburns can also add some width to thinner long faces to balance things out so can be a legitimate strategy for improving attractiveness.

Mutton Chops – these are sideburns on steroids! This is, apparently, the look of a man who has a heart of gold. He may look a little scary on the outside, but he is marshmallow on the inside. Tends to be a look you see on artists and musicians.

Basic Neat Moustache – this has always been a controversial style. Historically, moustache wearers have been considered to be foreigners, foppish, fiendish, a deviant, a swinger, or a porn star. Then such men as Tom Selleck made the humble moustache perfectly acceptable and even desirable facial styling. If you choose to wear a moustache today (minus its friend the beard), you’re confident and a little defiant - either that or it's Movember. Good for you!

Horseshoe moustache – the purview of bikers and wrestlers a la Hulk Hogan. You’re a rebel and you like your tash big and intimidating.

Handlebar Moustache – you’re an old fashioned guy with a nice and pleasant personality. A gentleman. You probably also have access to a really good moustache wax.

Soul Patch – otherwise known as a “mouche” (and various other slang terms we’ll steer clear of here), the soul patch is a single tiny patch of hair at the bottom of the lower lip and above the chin. It was popularised by African American jazz men in the 1950’s and 1960’s, as well as by beatniks and hippies. This guy marches to a different beat.

Beard-free – this guy is classic, happy to not stand out, and quite possibly simply can’t stand the growing out cycle of his facial hair. He probably tends to prefer bloody bits of tissue, razor burn and losing 10 minutes each day with the shaver rather than being his natural self or exploring different looks with his facial hair. He might not know what he’s missing!

Does your facial hair say what you want it to?


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